"On Sensitivity"

    Sensitivity is a God-given gift.  Whenever I feel accused or am ac-
cused of being too sensitive, I feel the accuser is also accusing him-
self (usually it's not a "herself") of being *too* insensitive.  "Well,
____, I think you're being too sensitive here," starts to sound like a
mere opinion, like a very self-serving opinion.
    "I think you're being too sensitive," may be an excuse for behaviour
that produced unintended results -- for a person's getting emotional
is almost always uncomfortable for the ones who feel it is their fault.
    I start to cry.  "Dave, don't you think you're being a little too
sensitive here?"  It's a way to disclaim responsibility for a result.
It can be very selfish, this need to not own one's own responsibility
for one's effect on another.  Because it seeks to protect one's own
feelings, and ends up denying the legitimacy of the other's.

    ACCEPTANCE IS WORK!

    I am an excellent manipulator, but not as good as some.  Some attack
with a sword -- I don't.  Mine is with words.  We all have our weapons;
I deny my weapons.
    The sensitivity with which I can be easily manipulated ... can be
turned around, if I so will it to be.  If I will myself to learn the
emotional and intellectual buttons others have:  Then I myself can abuse
others' sensitivities to get what *I* want rather than letting others 
abuse mine to get what they want from me.  

              Where, in all of these abuses, is God?


  --David Eisenstein        mid-July, 1993      (rev. 5/97)