Friday, January 28th, 1993

Dear Editor:

     The University of Missouri offers a wide variety of degrees and
courses of study.  But lately the University has been overlooking a 
very important aspect of their educational offerings.
     Many students, after four years here, become quite proficient 
in the practice of griping or sniping or complaining.  It only seems 
fitting, then, for this place to offer degrees like "B.A. in English 
and Complaining," or "B.A. in French and Complaining;" better yet, 
"B.A. in Complaining in French," or "B.S. in Griping in Computerese."
Such diplomas would better reflect what people really learn at the 
University of Missouri.  Some professors are quite exemplary in im-
parting this art, being among the most prolific complainers I have 
ever known.  This is particularly true when it comes to those who 
stand in front of the classroom and gripe about how lousy their 
students are.
     So much of the griping I hear accomplishes very little.  Why?
Because most of it is thoughtless and repetitive.  If this Univer-
sity were to offer a class or a degree in griping, at least we'd
have a chance of hearing a creative gripe every now and then.

				Sincerely,



				David Eisenstein