11/30/92
     Is a friend someone you have, you are, 
or is a friendship something you do?

     A sharing moment is a doing moment.  An understanding
is a doing and a being.  A love is an action, a decision,
to affect mannerisms and thoughts becoming to one.

     A friendship is a sharing, an understanding, and
a loving kind of establishment.

     A having is a staid kind of thing, perhaps even
a lazy one.  A having is a possessing, owning kind of
thing that does not necessarily imply any action.  I have
money.  I possess a body.  And I go on living having.

     A friend is not something I can have.  A friend I
must be; friendship I must do.

     Relationships are most fragile things.  They can
wither, get brittle, splinter, or break when not properly
nurtured.  Having a relationship is not sufficient to
keep one.  Having and holding-- these are words used in
certain vows... yet they are so insufficient, in our im-
perfect language, to get across what friendship really is.

     One can only be a friend inasmuch as others open
themselves to one's friendship.  When others close them-
selves to friendship by exercising their rights of condi-
tional and selective love, one can do little more but to
go on and try again.  Most people try rattling one's doors
only once or twice, then give up in frustration to go on
to another and forget the one who seems closed.

     It would seem that the unconditional love of Jesus
Christ would have us forgive those closed doors and try
again anyway for many, many times.  For every locked door
has a key, has something that will open it.  Gentle and
kindly, but not invasive, friendliness can unlock the
doors of a heart, even an abused or misunderstood one.

     We who claim to follow Jesus Christ are called to
grace when we so claim Him.  We are called to be open and
to try to befriend, even those who don't answer the door
of their heart on the first, second, third, or even 490th
knock.  We are not called to cliquish, exclusive behavior.
We are not called to accept only those people like ourselves,
but to accept people who are unlike us as well as like us.

     If we only knew how to unlock our own hearts....